True Friendship

In our age of email and social networks, many of us can claim to have hundreds of friends. But it's likely that only a few of those people actually know us completely or truly as friends. I can count on one hand those people in my life to whom there are no locked doors, no places in my heart and mind that are off limits. One of these is my childhood best friend with whom, though we have lived apart for 16 years (more than half our lives), I am lucky to still share a special bond.

For the past several years Tina has lived in Colorado and I have seen her infrequently. We don't really talk on the phone or email much. But, as it is with all true friends, when we do have a chance to get together, it is easy to pick up where we left off. And when we part I feel that same sweet ache as I did when we were fifteen and I said goodbye to her that August when she left for boarding school and I remained.

Last summer I had the great privilege of attending Tina's wedding to a wonderful man named Ben. It made me so happy to see my dear nomadic friend settled with a man she loves, in a job she is passionate about. Tina and Ben were visiting Tina's family in Michigan for the past week and I was thrilled that they were able to squeeze in a little detour to my house last night. We chatted, ate pad thai and sushi, laughed, and did a little reminiscing before they had to head back to her parents' house.

After Tina moved away a new person stepped into fill the void in my life. That very year I started dating the guy who would later become my best friend and then my husband. And while I have a couple other girlfriends I'm close to, and while I am lucky enough to call my sister one of my closest friends, no one has known me or has influenced me quite like Tina and Zach have, and their friendship has played a large part in making me into the person I am today.

I wish we could see each other more often, but I am grateful for these stolen moments when time stops just long enough to remind me of those days when Tina and I lolled on her hammock, explored the beach at her cottage, ran down steep sand dunes, milled about during intermission at the Bay City Players theatre, and talked about the boys we liked as we sat on her second floor bedroom windowsill, dangling our legs outside.

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A Furry Visitor

This sweet opossum visited the backyard today and was kind enough to pose for a couple minutes for me.

I don't know if it is male or female, but if it is female it is likely carrying 10 to 15 tiny babies in its pouch.

You are welcome, little opossum, to stay in my yard and eat my slugs.

But please stay out of my trash can and look both ways before you cross the street.

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Screaming Swallows

"Get off my house, interloper!!"

*smug smile*

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Detroit for Sale

Anyone in the market for a fine example of Roman Baroque architecture in the heart of beautiful downtown Detroit?

I say "beautiful downtown Detroit" with my tongue nowhere near my cheek. I spent Mother's Day weekend in the Detroit area, much of it walking downtown and admiring the many beautiful buildings that have managed to survive the rash of demolition and replacement with hideous concrete and glass monstrosities that so many big cities experienced in the 1960s and 1970s.

Downtown Detroit is cleaner than you might expect, especially if you have ever perused the many ruin porn photos that highlight the blight of Detroit. It's not full of gang bangers toting guns or prostitutes or shady looking drug dealers. I'm sure those people exist in Detroit, as in any big city, but they're not hanging around Greektown or the Fox Theatre or the very pleasant walk between the two. There are many empty storefronts, however, so entrepreneurs take note! Start-up is probably relatively cheap there and you can be part of the remaking of a great city.

The Wayne County Building is gorgeous and I do hope it is filled soon. The county seat has apparently moved into the also historic Guardian Building, but it is a huge shame to leave this magnificent structure empty, especially when it is so unlikely that it will be filled any time soon. So if you're interested in creating a museum in a historic building, here's your chance. Just make it classy, please.

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Turtle Parade

Okay, so technically a parade is something that moves and these guys are quite statuesque. But it's more a parade than a kick line, certainly. May has brought with it true spring and these reptiles, who spent the winter and the cold spring dug into the earth and covered with leaves, are happy to be soaking up the sun. As are the rest of us.

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The Kitchen Garden - It's On Now

It's happening! The backyard garden overhaul is underway for real. The wood (salvaged white oak from a local source) is ordered and I am digging up the zillions of little scilla bulbs that have been spreading over my slope for who knows how long. I'm passing them on to a friend who got one as a stowaway in a previous floral gift and who fell in love with it this spring as they are up so early and don't mind the extra snow.

Once the ground is cleared and the wood is in place I will finally make use of the compost that has been rotting for years in the bin and dig that nutrient-rich stuff down into the clay-dominant parts of my new beds. After that comes the very fun part of deciding just what to buy and plant. Calvin seems very into the whole idea and keeps saying, "You eat the carrots and I'll eat the beans and Daddy will eat the tomatoes."

Besides those three must-haves, I'm thinking that I will certainly have spinach, lettuce, onions, garlic, rhubarb, and cucumbers. I'd also like to try acorn squash and I'd love to do potatoes, though I think I need a bit looser soil to make those work. My husband recently requested eggplant.

What else should I consider? What can you not do without when it comes to your vegetable garden? All sage advice, tips, and tricks warmly accepted!

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The Value of Modern Technology

I have mixed feelings about some of our comparatively recent developments technology.

I love that I can digitize manuscripts for work and listen to them on headphones while I do housework or sewing. Still, I hate that the coffee shop I was in yesterday was completely filled with college students but that every one of them was alone, silent, and was listening to an iPod or texting. I hate that I can hardly have a conversation with some people without them not-so-subtly looking down and reading—and sometimes responding to—a text they received. I hate hearing a cell phone go off during church, a movie, or a funeral (yes, it happens). I hate that personal technology has made a large portion our populace completely self-absorbed and incredibly rude.

I love that if I know I've seen that guy somewhere when I'm watching a movie at home I can quick look him up on IMDB and figure out what else I've seen him in. I love that if I'm curious about a reference to an event or person or phenomenon I can Google it and find lots of information on it. But I hate that I can also find lots of ill-informed opinions on it, as well as completely unrelated and repetitive blinking and moving advertisements on the web pages.

I love hilarious little things on YouTube and FailBlog and WhenParentsText and NickHolmes. But I hate that so much of it encourages me to laugh at the misfortune of others and that I always end up thinking more about how dumb some people are rather than setting my mind on noble things.

When it comes down to it, do the Internet and smart phones and iPods really enrich life? I have serious doubts about this.

My friend Ted blogged this week about the illusion of shared consciousness and experience that you get from Facebook and the blogosphere when it comes to reading about big news like Osama bin Laden's death. I highly recommend reading it.

Reading his blog post got me thinking again on this question of whether the Internet serves me or I serve the Internet or whether there is a healthy balance one can strike. Two years ago I gave up Facebook for Lent. I didn't really miss it a whole lot. So why did I pick it back up again? It's an easy way to share pictures. For some people it's how they follow this blog. There's no harm in it, really.

Were those my real reasons? Well, partly. As uncomfortable as it makes me to admit it, I think a bigger reason was that I wanted people to read my ramblings and think I was clever. I wanted people to be interested in me. I wanted them to tell me what great photos I took and how cute my son was.

And the more I recognize this, the more uncomfortable it makes me.

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An American Redstart . . . and a Bit of Dickinson

Hope

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune—without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

                         ~ Emily Dickinson

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Tyke on a Bike

Some time ago my mother the garage sale queen found a little Thomas the Tank Engine bike in like-new condition for a pittance. The boy wasn't tall enough to reach the pedals and then it was winter, but this morning Daddy got it out of the attic and away they went.

It was slow going as Dad moved Calvin's feet on the pedals.

Calvin was concentrating pretty intensely, but he was also definitely enjoying himself.

But still he was too serious to give me a real smile.

The report from Dad when they got home was that he's very good at steering and he's very good at pedaling, but he doesn't necessarily do them really well at the same time yet. But I bet by the end of the summer he will be zooming along. I'm just hoping that he has a better relationship with his bike than Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes.

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A Perfect Spring Afternoon -- Finally!

My backyard bird count went up one to 36 species today when I noticed this little guy, an almost-adult wood thrush sitting by the grill.

It's odd to see wood thrushes in suburban settings as they prefer being safe within wooded areas. But springtime winds always send a few birds off course. I'm sure there are a lot of tiny nomads across the South after those terrible storms. Springtime visitors to my yard in years past have been the common yellowthroat warbler, who I'm pretty sure ran into my sunroom door, and a rose-breasted grosbeak. Seems like since I started blogging in 2008 I've added about two species each year to my list, though I'm not always lucky enough to get pictures of them.

You may notice a resemblance between this wood thrush and the American robin. They are both thrushes and are similar sizes and have similar eating habits. American robins, however, have adapted better to life in the suburbs.

Since the weather was so very nice out this afternoon my husband and I sat outside while our boy was napping and watched the antics of squirrels and chipmunks and birds and envisioned a life as old folks training squirrels and chickadees to eat from our hands. Here's a sampling of our little friends.

It's pretty apparent that life as a squirrel involves a hierarchy, and this guy is on top in our yard. But that doesn't stop a wily chipmunk fom trying to get his share.

He lurks beneath the feeder, waiting for the opportune moment. Mostly he psyched himself out and ran or was chased away, but at one point he ran right over top of the squirrel, which seemed to surprise them both.

This uneasy truce lasted about as long as it took my camera to take the picture. Lucky shot.

We also spied house finches, goldfinches, blue jays, cardinals, and chickadees (standard visitors) along with some red-winged blackbirds who have been hanging around a lot lately.

Noticeably absent today were the downy and hairy woodpeckers and the nuthatches. But you can't have it all, I suppose.

I'm quite pleased that my son is so interested in feeding the birds, the dog, and the fish, and that he "helped" build a little birdhouse this week. He really loves small animals (not that the dog is small), thinks that "birds are so nice," and this morning informed me "when I turn into a fish I will swim in that tank."

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